Know Your Stars Sly Cooper Style
by VanG Ziggy ZA
Summary: My know your stars: Avatar is doing well, so I figured I'd try it with Sly. Will their lives ever be the same after this?
1. Sly Cooper

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay I've done this type of story with my Avatar the Last Airbender, and it became a massive hit! I just hope that the same can be said of Sly and his friends! Review, review, review!**_

_**KNOW YOUR STARS: SLY COOPER STYLE**_

_**Sly Cooper**_

_Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper! He likes to go into a small closet and practice his make out techniques with his cane, he named Carmelita._

Sly looked and scowled for a moment. "Wait a moment, first my cane doesn't have a name, and secondly I don't go into my closet to practice make out techniques." He was cornered, a talent agent pleaded with everyone to appear on this show, which would let their fans know more about themselves.

_Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper! His penis is only a half inch long!_

Sly blinked and shook his head. "MY WHAT IS ONLY WHAT! What are you doing looking down there anyway? And where are you? I can only hear your voice!"

_Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper! He likes putting peanut butter in his eyes and screaming I'm a pretty pony!_

"Now come ON! I do not put peanut butter in my eyes and scream about being a pretty pony!"

_Then why are you doing that in this tape I recorded while I was stalking you?_

A tape plays with a very large overweight bald man jumping around in a tutu prancing around calling himself a pretty little pony. Instead of peanut butter its jelly in his eyes.

"That's not even me! And there's jelly in his eyes!"

_Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper! He thinks peanut butter is really jelly._

"That's because it is jelly!" He stood up and twirled his cane.

"This guy is weird," Bentley said.

_Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper! He's got the hots for Neyla's panties!_

"As nice as those might be, I do not have the hots for a piece of clothing!' Sly growled. "Especially when they belong to a dead lunatic."

_Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper! He keeps Carmelita locked up in his sock drawer! _

"And how the hell could she fit in that!" Sly shot to his feet. "This is stupid, I'm leaving."

_And now you know, Sly Cooper, A Springer Spaniel who makes out with his cane in his closet, has a half an inch penis, puts peanut butter in his eyes and dances around like a pansy, with the hots of a dead lunatic's panties, and keeps his love interest in his sock drawer!_

"None of that is TRUE! NOT ONE BIT OF IT!" Sly tried to find the man, but could only hear the horrible laughter as the cameras rolled away.

_**So how was it? Next up is Bentley.**_


	2. Bentley

_**Ziggy's Corner; Okay Bentley Wiseturtle is next. I hope it's as good as the first chapter!**_

_**Bentley Wiseturtle**_

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! His last name is Toenail Fungus!_

"What! Sly's right, you're out of your mind! My last name is Wiseturtle!"

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He lives in your mom's glove compartment box and eats dust bunnies!_

"Someone has got to go back to school and learn biology again," Bentley snapped. "I do not live in any one's glove compartment, and I most definitely do not eat dust bunnies!"

_Then what do you eat?_

"I do like the occasional pizza, and hamburgers are nice too, oh, and a salad with Greek Isle dressing is just wonderful!"

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He's the fifth teenage mutant ninja turtle Gabby Glimpsalot!_

"WHAT! I most certainly am not! My name is Bentley Wiseturtle, and I am part of the Cooper Gang! This is stupid, I have half a mind to sue you!"

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He pretends to be smart, but really he only has half a mind!_

"Ha ha, very funny Wiseguy! Look, if you want to talk this over with my lawyer, I'd be happy to introduce you! I don't half a brain."

_You just said you did!_

"I said … Look that's a figure of speech!" His normal green skin was turning dark brown with anger.

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He likes to suck wine off of his girlfriend, Penelope's toes!_

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT!" Bentley exploded in anger before he realized he was being watched.

_You mean it's true? What a loser, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

"No the loser is someone who hides in the shadows while making fun of people," Bentley snarled. "Seriously, why not come out and we'll talk this over like adults!"

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He thinks he's all grown up!_

"I AM, all grown up! I happen to be 21!" the turtle swore!

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He likes to drink beer because he's 21 and swear!_

Bentley looked at the cameras and shot some kind of liquid at them. "That's it, this interview is over. Get that camera out of my face!"

_And now you know, Bentley Wiseturtle. Whose real last name is Toenail Fungus, lives in your mom's glove compartment box, eats dust bunnies, while mascarading as the fifth teenage mutant ninja turtle, who has half a mind, and likes to suck wine off his girlfriend's toes, while drinking beer and cursing everyone._

"GET A LIFE, LOSER!" Bentley howled.

"Bentley! I can't believe you told everyone on worldwide internet what we do at home!" Penelope snapped.

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley! He's going to be chewed out by his girlfriend!_

_**Okay, second chapter done! Next up is Murray! If this is popular enough, I'll submit more chapters in May after his time on the hot seat. **_


	3. Murray

_**Ziggy's Corner: This will be my last chapter for this story, unless I get unbelievable reviews! This time it's the Murray's time to be on the hot seat!**_

_**The Murray**_

_Murray, Murray, Murray! He has muscles so think, it makes mountains cry!_

"That could be true," Murray said with a shake of his head. "I am really strong."

_Murray, Murray, Murray! He has a gut so big, it has it's own planetal orbit!_

"Hey, I may be fat, but I don't have planet's rotating around me!" the hippo snarled.

_Murray, Murray, Murray! He went to Australia to learn how to suck his thumbs!_

Murray had to be with strained with anger about this. His blood pressure rose so high that a volcano nearly died of an heart attack. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU PIECE OF LOW LIFE CRAP! THE MURRAY IS GOING TO KICK YOUR TEETH IN SO FAST AND HARD, THAT YOUR GREAT GRANDKIDS WILL FEEL IT!"

"Murray, calm down. Do not let him get into your head!"

"Yes Master, sorry!" He said, his head hanging lowly.

"That's a good boy!" the Guru said with a smile.

_Murray, Murray, Murray! He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag!_

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me!"

_Murray, Murray, Murray! He's a great big baby that name calls!_

"I did not call you names!" Murray grumbled.

_Murray, Murray, Murray, the last book he read was Pretty Princess Ponies go for a Picnic coloring book!_

"The Murray does not use coloring books!"

"Actually you did once," Dimitri said, trying to be helpful.

"It was part of a disguise!" Murray grumbled.

_Murray, Murray, Murray! He likes dressing like a wee little kid!_

Murray leapt out of the chair, bellowing his howl of rage. Luckily for the interviewer, he was too well hidden to be found by the enraged hippo, who had to be taken away with a lot of sedation.

_And now you know, Murray! A hippo who has muscles so large they scare mountains, has his own orbit, learned to suck his thumb in Australia, calls people names, uses coloring books while dressed in little kid clothes, and is being hauled away to the funny farm!_

_**Okay, is this still going well? If I get enough reviews, I'll update in May, with Carmelita's time in the chair. Unless I get bundles and bundles of reviews while still **_


	4. Carmelita

_**Ziggy's Corner: This is chapter 4! Not as many reviews for this as my Avatar Know your stars, but who knows what will happen? I'm not the shadow, so I sure as heck don't!**_

_**CARMELITA FOX**_

_Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox! Her voice changes so much, she has to go to a discount store to get her next one!_

"My voice doesn't change!" Carmelita stood up and barked with anger. "I have always had the same voice I had when I was in sixth grade!"

_Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox! She's got a thing for younger men!_

"I do not know what your are talking about … If you mean Sly just forget it!"

_Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox! She's a pedophile!_

"Are you INSANE! I don't like kids!"

_Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox! She thinks that all children should be gathered up, locked up, and blown up with an atomic weapon!_

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" She pulled out her gun and glared. "Who's in charge here!"

_You said you don't like kids!_

"You know what I meant!"

_So you really do like kids!_

"Of course, I have two younger brothers!"

_Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox! She think's her little brother's are smoking HOT!_

"You really have lost it! I'm not into the boys, or younger men or kids!"

_Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox, Carmelita Fox! She likes dancing nude in her apartment when she thinks she's all alone!_

Carmelita's jaw dropped and she turned bright red. "Okay now you've gone too far!" She shot her shock pistol at everyone, and stormed off to beat the crap out of the guy who created all that.

_**Okay, it was a short chapter! But I liked it! Penelope is going next!**_


	5. Penelope

_**Penelope**_

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She beat the ever living hell out of Bentley after what he said about her in his chapter!_

"I don't beat up crippled people, let alone my own boyfriend," the mouse snapped.

_Then why isn't he here today?_

Penelope smiled. "I locked him in the bathroom so he could write a fifty thousand word apology to me."

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She takes pleasure in locking handicapped, disabled people in their own bathrooms!_

"Only if they tick me off!" the young mouse said as she cross her arms.

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She's the newest Internet, video game vixen!_

This took her a little by surprised, and she chuckled nervously. "Well, that's news to me."

Somewhere in their house, Bentley could be heard screaming, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PERVERT DOING DRAWING PENELOPE IN A SLAVE GIRL PRINCESS LEIA GOLD BIKINI!"

Elsewhere, a weeping Tifa Lockheart has finally broken her slimming diet, upon hearing the bad news. "They told me it wouldn't last forever, but I didn't want to believe!"

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She killed more men in the Crimean War than Attila the Hun did in his whole invasion!_

The girl blinked and shook her head. "Wait a minute, I wasn't born in the Crimean War! I'm only 21!"

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! You can find her on a video tape of College Mousegirls Gone Wild!_

"THAT'S A DAMN LIE!" Penelope howled, secretly hoping that old web site was closed by now.

Bentley nearly dropped his laptop, "HOLY CRAP! PENELOPE IS SO FRICKIN' HOT!"

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! Her I.Q. is smaller than a speck of dirts!_

"Is that a fact! Could a speck of dirt make a time machine!"

Somewhere in their house, Bentley had found their time machine, after breaking the door of the bathroom down and began to use it. "I'm going to find that asshole who made that site, and kick his ass before Penelope comes across him!"

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! Her breasts are so big, they have their own zip code!_

The mouse frowned and looked down at her chest and back at the voice. "Hey, cut it out! How do you know how big they might be anyway?"

_I have a copy of College Mousegirls Gone Wild!_

Her chest dropped and her color faded to pale white. Finally she shot to her feet, and pulled out a blow torch. "You give me that tape back, or I'll fuse your coconuts with your vine and tie you to a power pole!"

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She's losing her temper!_

"You're damn right, I am, buddy," she snapped. "And you most definitely do not want to see this woman lose her temper!"

Back at their house, Bentley crawled painfully back through the time machine. "Okay, I most definitely do not want to see Penelope ever lose her temper ever again!" he groaned.

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! That's not even her real name!_

"You're pushing it bucko!" the mouse growled.

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She doesn't like it when you push her buttons!_

"Find me someone who does, and I'll show you a nut job!"

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She thinks her boyfriend is a nut job!_

"I NEVER SAID THAT YOU DIM WITTED IDIOT!" Now her skin was flushing red.

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She's about to get into a cat fight with Tifa Lockheart!_

"What are you talking ab…" she began to ask, before she was tackled by the Final Fantasy VII vixen.

"Give me back my title," Tifa cried.

"Back off you crazy little snot!" Penelope hollered, grabbing a fist full of Tifa's hair. The scene soon escalated into a cat fight of the show, Dallas proportion, and then even further into a Jerry Springer program! The girls had to be pulled apart from security, tattered hair, shredded bits of clothes, bite, scratch marks, slap marks on each others faces, and everything else that goes with a cat fight.

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She just beat up an older woman!_

"What the hell do you mean, _older woman!_" Tifa howled.

_Technically you are older than Penelope!_

"Yeah, but you forgot to add in mouse years, so she's what, sixty eight!"

"OH THAT'S IT, YOU LITTLE FOUL MOUTHED SCANTILY CLAD TRIX, I'M GOING TO GO MEDIEVAL ON YOUR SCRAWNY ASS!" Penelope screeched in rage, being held back by Bentley and Murray. "And what are you doing back here?" she asked her boyfriend.

"Beautiful, calm down!" Bentley said.

"Yeah, that's right, go back to your little shell back wimp!" Cloud barked, holding back Tifa.

"Wimp!" Bentley was turning red with anger, and then shout for the most vile words he could think of to say to the hero. "Hate to tell you," Bentley barked, "but that sick stuff is good for only making babies, not for using as hair gel," he said with a laugh, making reference to Cloud's hair style, and a certain movie having something to do with a woman named Mary.

_Penelope, Penelope, Penelope! She has a grudge against Bentley!_

"Against Bentley! Why the hell would I? It was that little snot and her dorky boyfriend who started it!"

_And now you know Penelope, a girl who posed in College mouse girls gone wild, likes to lock disabled guys in their bathrooms, and get into fights with other girls!_

_**Okay dookie! This was a long one, and I have kind of an idea for a one shot with Penelope! I don't know if I'll write it, but if I do it will more than likely be rated M. Anyway, up next is the Panda King!**_


	6. Panda King

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 6! Panda King is next! So let's get on with the fun!**_

_**Panda King**_

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King! He wears pink and white underpants with little hearts on them!_

"What is wrong with you, I don't wear anything like that," the large panda bear snapped.

_So what do you where in bed then?_

"That is none of your business!" the pyromaniac member of the group snarled.

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King, he once pushed a little girl down to be the first in line to the ice cream truck!_

"I am lactose intolerant! And I do not push little girls down just to get a snack!" Panda King roared.

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King! He keeps wooden puppets in his pants to keep him company when he get's lonely on the toilet!_

Panda King shot to his feet and glared, "I don't keep puppets in my pants!" He frowned and pulled something out, something that looked like an army of puppets. "What in the world?"

"Would you make us a hamburger with cheese?" the puppets asked.

"What? No! Where did you all come from?" he demanded.

"We're your very special friends, now will you make us a hamburger with cheese?" the puppets asked.

"I just told you no!" Panda King roared.

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King! He makes poor, defenseless puppets stay in his pants, but he won't feed them!_

"Puppets do not eat cheeseburgers!"

_Then why did you put them in your pants?_

"This is stupid, why can't we discuss things about what is really important?"

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King. All he wants to do is talk about himself!_

"That is not what I meant!"

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King! He likes giving wedgies to squirrels!_

"Are you on some kind of medication? Why would I," the large black and white bear chuckled, "well there was the time when I was fifteen and tied a small nerd in our village to a rocket by his pants. He got such a wedgie, his eyes bulged out and stayed like that!" He shook his finger. "But he was not a squirrel!"

_Panda King, Panda King, Panda King! He's a zit faced bully who picked on the governor of California! And now he's picking on poor defenseless puppets!_

"What are you talking about…," a massive shadow covered him, and he turned to look to see Arnold Swartengator glare down at him.

"Do you know how long it took me to get my eyes back in their sockets! DO YOU!"

"Er, wait, I can explain!" Panda King tried to explain. Unfortunately the governator did not let him get a chance. He grabbed the panda from his pants, and hoisted him onto a NASA satellite. It took off, and Panda King went screaming all the way!

_And now you know Panda King! A bully who pushes little girls, picks on puppets, and gives wedgies to buffed up California governors when they were little. _

"LIES! THAT'S ALL LIES!" Panda King screamed, as he was sent soaring into the heat of the sun.

**_Okay, a quick one, but I like the way it went. Up next is the Guru! That should really be funny!_**


	7. Guru

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 7! The Guru is next!**_

_**GURU**_

_Guru, Guru, Guru! In High School he was dumped so many times, that flies thought that he was a garbage truck!_

Guru looked at the cameras and frowned, holding his moonstone and staff. "Arguoehowhwoowhwododque! Gutdod boeof dwoddnewoenwo woewospeo!"

_What the hell did you just say?_

"Arguoehowhwoowhwododque! Gutdod boeof dwoddnewoenwo woewospeo!"

_Guru, Guru, Guru! He can't make a lick of sense if he tried to do so!_

"AFJEFJODSFJS SDFSDSDASDSD AMEMENIEE DOD GOGDO SOE WQWHENEERF ENEERDSDS!"

_What did I tell you?_

"Hey, leave master alone!" Murray snapped, running up and staring at the cameras. "Its not his fault you can't understand his language!"

_Guru, Guru, Guru! He thinks he's so special, that he has to have someone come in and speak for him!_

"You made me explode once, don't try it again!" Murray growled.

_Guru, Guru, Guru! He learned to speak by watching reruns of the old Charlie Brown cartoon shows and movies, and copying all of the adults speech!_

Guru grumbled something in his language and rolled his eyes. This person was definitely infantile and obscene to try and get ratings this way. He smiled and twirled his stick, casting a spell over himself, turning into a large cannon.

_Guru, Guru, Guru! He's having a fit so bad that he can't even show his real face!_

"Sure master," Murray said, listening to his teacher. "If you think that's really for the best!" Murray picked something off the ground and heaved it at the cannon.

_Guru, Guru, Guru! He hates the Beetles, thinks the Eagles are rotting onions, and that the Beach Boys were all a bunch of namby pamby cry baby, pretty boys!_

Murray lit the fuse and covered his ears as the flame slowly went down.

_Guru, Guru, Guru! The reason he speaks so funny, is because he has a mouth full of rocks!_

The cannon shot, and out came a cannon ball, straight at the commentator, who groaned in pain and dropped to his knees.

"That's for all the not nice things you've been saying about all of us!" Murray growled. "Honestly, master has a mouth full of rocks, that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of! Why of all the asinine things I've heard and seen, that would have to be the stupi…" he caught himself as the Guru turned back into this normal form, put his fist into his mouth, and yanked out a good number of rocks!

"Actually that's one of the few things he got right!" the ancient master chuckled.

"I'm confused!" Murray said, scratching his head.

"Yes you are," Guru said with a nod of his head.

_Guru, Guru, Guru! His student thinks he's a bastard!_

"That's a misunderstanding of the game in the pirate level," Guru growled.

"Yeah, I said, 'Master come back!' not 'Bastard come back!'"

_And now you know, Guru! A koala who was dumped a lot in high school, mumbles with his talk, and whose student thinks he's a bastard._

"DO NOT MAKE ME TURN INTO A CANNON AGAIN, JUNIOR!" Guru growled.

_Er. Sorry._

_**And this chapter is finished! On to chapter 8! Dimitri is the next one to be mocked, er I mean interviewed! FUN!**_


	8. Dimitri

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 8! Dimitri is up!**_

_**DIMITRI**_

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! His fashion sense comes from a dung beetle who had too much sugar and threw up all over the place!_

"What is this hip talk about dissing my threads and style?" Dimitri barked. "I am the hip hop, razzle dazzle god of the fashion, the master of the police of style! Why diss me like that, bro?"

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! He's allergic to cats, and thinks that art from the new style consists of toilet paper and sea taffy!_

"Are you mad, man? Kitty cats and sea taffy? What in the bling is this taffy from the sea? And why the talk of the little meow cats? Dimitri is not allergic to anything but bad fashion, bro, and right now you are giving him a major rash in the tussie with this talk of bad taste!"

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! He thinks that women think he's hot and sexy, but they really laugh at him behind his back!_

Dimitri shot to his feet, his fist fuming with anger. "That is an outrageous lie, the ladies dig my fashion! They flock to my mastery of poetry and the suit of swimming. The angels all flock and plot to get me into the hip hop fashion, the use of trickery to see a glimpse of hippness and total bling of heaven that this rad dude has!"

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! He thinks he's smart, and clever, but really he has no idea what the words he uses mean!_

"I do to!" the lizard snapped.

_So what do they mean then?_

Dimitri attempted to explain what they meant, but only stumbled time and time again. "It does not matter what they mean, only that they totally express the total meaning of what it is to be this radical dude! Bling, shining, poppy dance!"

_Poppy dance?_

"Well, that's er. I mean …," Dimitri grumbled and sat back into his chair.

_I have no idea what you are talking about!_

"I have my own words, and you have yours, bro! What's wrong? Can't we all get along in the house?"

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! He's so weird because his father and mother are brother and sister!_

"WHAT? MY MOTHER AND FATHER ARE NO WHERE NEAR BELONGING TO THE SAME RELATION, YO!"

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! His parents never married!_

"YES THEY DID!"

_You said they weren't related!_

"But they did marry, they just weren't brother and sister!" Dimitri snapped.

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! He's a space alien whom his parent's had no choice to adopt, least they lose their farm!_

"What is this talk of green men and the farms of cows? I'm from the French! I am hip and bling! My parents were both like my grandfather!"

_Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri! He pushes cows in farm yards for fun!_

"NO I DON'T!"

_Then why is that army of angry, cannibal cows are standing right behind you?_

Dimitri frowned and looked behind him in time to see crazy, cannibal cows glare at him evilly. "So ya like to push cows when you think we're not looking, huh?" a massive bull growled. "Well, we'll show you, you snot!"

_And now you know Dimitri! He get's his fashion sense from dung beetles, thinks new arts are full of sea taffy, women laugh at him behind his back, and his parent's had to adopt him, or he'd burn their farm to the ground with his heat vision. Not to mention he's getting his ass handed to him by crazy, cannibal, cows!_

"Mad Cow Disease, they have mad cow disease!" Dimitri cried.

_It comes from cows eating cows! Why else would they be, **crazy cannibal cows!**_

_**That's it! Up next is Neyla/ Clock-La! Hope your having fun! This chapter was really challenging because I wasn't sure how to make Dimitri talk. LOL, kind of like Bentley in the pirate level, trying to communicate with him. Anyway chappie 9 is next!**_


	9. Neyla ClockLa

_**Ziggy's Corner: 9th chapter. Neyla/ Clock-La is the next character to be on the hot seat! Here we go!**_

_**NEYLA/ CLOCK-LA**_

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! She's the pink panther's great granddaughter!_

"I most certainly am not!" Neyla grumbled. "I never met my grandparent's, let alone my great grandfather!"

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! The reason she wanted to become the next metal owl is because she lost her watch, and thought that she would forever know what time it was to watch Desperate Housewives!_

"I did it to become immortal all right, but not to watch some stupid show! I wanted to be someone, and I was!"

_Clock-La, Clock-La, Clock-La! She's the oldest living hippie the world has ever known!_

"Wait a minute, why did you change my name from one to the other? And what the HELL DO YOU MEAN I'M THE OLDEST HIPPIE! Not only am I only 21, but I have never been a hippie!"

_Then why is there a La in your name? Aren't you trying to copy Shangri-La! The capital of hippie love, peace, and snuggles?_

Her jaw dropped. "WHAT THE FU…? La is in Clock-La's name, because of the combination of Clockwerk, and **Neyla**!"

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! She has a crush on Carmelita's 90 year old uncle! _

"Why in the world would I have a crush on an old man?" Neyla asked.

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! She has diarrhea at three thirty in the morning every morning after eating pizza pie, and two tons of sugar!_

"Why would that give me diarrhea? And how in the world would you know that?" Neyla asked. "I say, this is really stupid."

_Clock-La, Clock-La, Clock-La! She poops out gaskets and screws when she sits on the pot!_

"NO I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!" the villainous cried. "I used to think I hated Sly and his friends, but I think I'd much more enjoy hating your sorry ass!"

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! She has the hots for Admiral Zhao from Avatar the Last Airbender!_

"Okay, now you are just being sophomoric! I hate that pervert's guts!"

_Then why did you give him a lap dance?_

"Are you on drugs? I never did such a thing!" she hollered.

_Okay, then watch this! _A tape is played where Neyla beats the shit out of Zhao.

"If that's a lap dance, then I'm going to have to call myself Pinocchio."

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! Her nose glows red when she tells lies!_

"I said Pinocchio! Not Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer! And I'm not a puppet nor a deer!"

_Neyla, Neyla, Neyla! She has no idea what in the hell she really even is!_

"Oh bite me," the tigress snarled, rising to her feet. "This is over!"

_And now you know Neyla/ Clock-La! The great-granddaughter of the Pink Panther, lost her watch, has diarrhea, longs for Carmelita's uncle and Zhao, and has no idea what the hell she really even is!_

"BITE ME!"

**ClockWerk is next! I hope you're all having fun still!**


	10. Clockwerk

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 10! Up next is Clockwerk! This will be the last chapter I submit in May, unless I get waves of responses. This way I can keep both stories, this one and the Avatar know your stars. It would just make the most sense to me, and this way I won't get overly tired and burn out before the end. Okay, on with the show!**_

_**CLOCKWERK**_

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! He's a ten thousand year old newspaper boy!_

"I'm older than ten thousand years, but I'm not a delivery boy!" the villain snapped. "I'm the greatest thief the world has ever known, or ever will know."

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! He got lost in the grocery store had kicked a police officer in the shin when he tried to help him!_

"Where in the world do you get your facts?"

_From the Internet!_

"Well I think you need to sign off then, you clearly have roasted your brain!" the owl hissed in anger.

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! He's Sly Cooper's mommy!_

"How the hell could I be that brat's mother when I was clearly older than his father, and was am a male?" Clockwerk howled.

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! He likes to go for long walks in the park, holding hands, and romantic dinners at fancy hotel restaurants. _

"I'm not interested with romance, I'm interested in power and glory!"

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! He couldn't get a date if he tried to sale his body parts!_

"How would selling my body parts get me to go on a date?"

_If you want to know, you have to buy my book, "Selling Your Body Parts for Romance!" only six months of payment of $49.99 for the twenty page novel._

Clockwerk looked down at the cameras, and blinked. "I was told I could do battle with Cooper, where is Sly?"

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! He's trying to sale his tape of his and Clock-La's date to the Cooper gang, so he can fund his kidney transplant. _

The villain looked at the cameras, and sent his electric rings into them, flying off in rage. "I hate you all!"

_Clockwerk, Clockwerk, Clockwerk! His message is of peace and love for all mankind!_

"Why won't you die!" Clockwerk's body shattered into a million parts and the commentator walked away with a laugh.

_And now you know, Clockwerk! The peace loving, body part selling, villain whose actually Sly's mother. _

_**Okay this chapter is over. Up next will be Sir Reighly (I think I misspelled his name, but you all know the creepy frog all to well. Until then! Read, Review, and Relax in the glow of the computer of happiness! J .**_


	11. Sir Raleigh

_**Ziggy's Corner: 11th chapter! Sir Raleigh is up!**_

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He keeps a cannon in his top hat!_

"I most certainly do not!" the angry British frog growled. "It just so happens to be very large hat!"

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He is deathly afraid of frogs, because he's afraid they'll like the taste of flies!_

Raleigh frowned and looked at the commentator, or he would have had he been able to see the crazed man. "Are you deranged? I AM a frog!"

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He has admitted to being a very large bull fly!_

"I say you must drink too much, I'm a bullfrog if anything."

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He went to jail for possessing a bootlegged copy of the BoBo-Bo movie!_

"Are you out of your mind? I sank ships, I don't watch anime!" the frog croaked, leaping up and down on his lily pad.

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He eats so much, that he get's bloated and has to be censored when using your toilet!_

The frog puffed out his chest, but released his weight, afraid of the consequences.

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He likes to break into your bedroom, and sniff your shoes!_

"I WHAT!" he screamed, leaping up and down on his lily pad.

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He likes beating up a woman named lily!_

"I say, where do you get all these 'facts' from?" Raleigh snarled.

_He's also dirt poor and his mother had to roll in hog sweat just to make a living for her twenty thousand puppies!_

"Frogs do not have PUPPIES! AND MY FAMILY WAS STINKING RICH!"

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He's family stinks so bad, that hobos had to move to a toxic waste dump just to breath normal!_

Raleigh was bloated and leaping up and down again. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMNED MIND?"

_You're the one leaping up and down on poor Lily._

"I'm leaping up and down on a LILY PAD! AA LLLLIIILLLLLYYYYYY PPPPPAAAAAADDDDDDDD!"

_Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh, Sir Raleigh! He likes to beat Lily Pad!_

It was too much for Raleigh. He leapt up and down so much the plant beneath him gave way and he sank in the water. He ended up being an major meal for Fantine and Takashi from IGPX the racing anime show on Cartoon Network.

"This is interesting," Takeshi said, "But a little high strung."

The cute blonde French girl looked at him and nodded. "Indeed, it's not very good."

_Now you know Sir Raleigh, who keeps a cannon in his hat, is a very large bull fly, afraid of other frogs, watches illegal episodes of BoBo-Bo, whose family smells worse than a Toxic waste dump, and who has now being eaten by two lovers!_

_**Okay that one was fun! Up next: Muggshot!**_


	12. Muggshot

_**Ziggy's Corner: Muggshot is up!**_

_Muggshot, Muggshot, Muggshot! His mother is butt ass ugly!_

"What did you say about my mother?" Muggshot roared.

_Muggshot, Muggshot, Muggshot! He paints his mustache on his face with a number two pencil!_

"Now come on, I don't paint my 'stache! How can you paint with a pencil anyway?"

_Muggshot, Muggshot, Muggshot! Under his stripped yellow pants he's wearing pink panties with cute little bunnies on them!_

"PINK PANTIES!" Muggshot was off his chair, grabbing his guns. He would have done so after his mom was insulted, but he'd promised her he'd keep his temper.

_With cute little bunnies dancing in the opera!_

"Bunnies dancing in the OPERA! Wait. Er, wait just a second…, you don't dance in Opera?" He frowned. "Do you?"

_Would you like to phone a friend?_

"For what?"

_Muggshot, you have two lifelines remaining, are you sure your answer is C?_

"Wait a minute, what happened to the talk of the DANCING BUNNIES!" The bulldog was scratching his head and blinking, clearly getting a headache.

_Muggshot, Muggshot, Muggshot! He likes talking about dancing bunnies!_

"No I don't," Muggshot said. "ER, yo… youse brought that up."

_Brought what up?_

"The DANCING BUNNIES!"

_I'm sorry sir, but you have to leave now, I'm waiting for Muggshot to show up so we can do an interview!_

"BUT I'M MUGGSHOT!"

_What's your point?_

"I'm MUGGSHOT! I AM IAM I AM!"

_Muggshot, Muggshot, Muggshot! He likes talking about himself!_

"Are you out of your mind!" Muggshot took his guns out and began blasting, until he was medicated, and taken away dragged through Appa poop, as the Air Bison from Avatar the Last Airbender has ruined his group's set, and they had to share with Sly's.

_SO WILL MUGGSHOT EVER COME HERE? Oh well, I guess you'll never no Muggshot, the Dancing Bunny loving BullDog!_

_**A short one, but I liked it! I had to do this a second time, because the stupid thing erased my first attempt to write it. I hope everyone likes this. Up next: Mz. Ruby.**_


	13. Mz Ruby

_**Ziggy's Corner: And now we're here with Mz. Ruby! Let the fun times begin!**_

_Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby! She's a really tall man dressed in drag!_

"I'm not a man! I'm a woman!" Mz. Ruby huffed in indignation.

_Mz. Booby, Mz. Booby, Mz. Booby…_

"WhAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILD?" Mz. Ruby snarled, sending a spell at the commentator. Lucky he was wearing a lucky rabbits foot.

_Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby! Her best friend is BeetleJuice!_

"BeetleJuice?" The alligator cocked her head. "Boy I think that y'all need to really come to grips with reality! Or get a nice good shrink to help you out!"

_So Mz. Ruby what do the cards say about me ever getting a wife!_

"I'm Mz. Ruby. Not Ms. Chloe!" the alligator snapped, her tail striking the earth.

_Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby! She's having an affair with Big Bird from Seseme Street!_

The alligator sent another spell, but it still did no good. "ARE YOU CRAZY CHILD WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING AS CRAZY AS THAT?"

_Because you are a sad, lonely woman!_

"Now you're just getting annoying boy!"

_Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby, Mz. Ruby! She has a hidden crush on InuYasha!_

"Well he is kind of cute!" the alligator chuckled.

_His hair is!_

"His HAIR! Why I would I be in love with his HAIR?"

_Would you bake me a cookie mommy? _

"I'll bake you something boy!" Mz. Ruby tried to attack, but it still did not do anything. "That's it, I have had enough. I'm going home!"

_Now you know Mz. Ruby. _

"They don't know nothing' boy," the alligator growled.

_**This was a really short one, but it was the best I could do at the moment. Anyway a surprise guest comes on the stage next! Read and Review!**_


	14. A special guest

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 14! Here comes someone very unexpected, and I hope someone who will make you wet your pants laughing!**_

_Vanguard Ziggy! Vanguard Ziggy! Vanguard Ziggy! He is a thirty one year old lazy woman who likes watching soap operas!_

I'm looking oddly at the camera. "Wait, why am I in the story? I don't have a role in Sly Cooper? AND I'M NOT A WOMAN!"

_Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy! He loves his cat!_

"Well that much is true I suppose!"

_That's why he married her!_

My mouth has fallen on the floor and I blink. "Wait, I didn't marry her."

_Then why do you sleep with her in your bed?_

"She's my pet, my cat! Of course I share my bed with her, who doesn't share their bed with their pet at one point or time?"

_Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy! He weighs 1000 pounds!_

"ONE THOUSAND POOOOUUUUNNNNNDSSSSSSSS! Are you out of your mind? Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?"

_Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy! He's Heiduska's son!_

I'm shaking my head and blinking. "How can I be her son, I'm 31, and she's in her teens!"

_So she invented a time machine and went to the past!_

"My mother's name is not Heidi, it's Judy!"

_Maybe she lied to you!_

"I don't even know why I'm here!" I cry. "I'm not in the game!"

_Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy! He thinks that his pants can talk to him!_

"_PANTS DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE!"_

_Meow, Meow, Meow!_

"What are you doing now you idiot?"

_Talking to you in your native tongue!_

"I'M NOT A CCCCAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

_Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy, Vanguard Ziggy! He's a meanie who flames little kids!_

"I DO NOOOOTTTTTTTT!"

_Your daughter told me you did!_

"My daughter?"

_TheDivineOne!_

I slap my head. "She's 17 and from Australia, I don't live in Australia! How could she be my daughter?"

_Are you sure?_

"YES!"

_And now you know, Vanguard Ziggy! A cat loving fiend whose mother traveled to the past, and whose daughter lives in Australia!_

"Did your mother drop you on your head by any chance?"

The commentator did nothing but laugh and laugh and laugh.

_**Okay it's said that those who make fun of themselves prove the have a good sense of humor! Up next: Rajan!**_


	15. Rajan

_**Ziggy's Corner: Rajan is up.**_

_**RAJAN**_

_Rajan, Rajan, Rajan! He's a back up singer for Jose and the Pussycats!_

"I don't sing," the tiger growled. "I run a drug empire!"

_Rajan, Rajan, Rajan! He's the court jester of the French Empire!_

"I do NOT tell the jokes, I listen to them, and then gut the idiot who can't make me laugh!" His foot swayed back and forth and he tapped his shoulder.

_Rajan, Rajan, Rajan! He played Cinderella in his school play!_

"Have you any SENSE IN YOUR HEAD! I do not go around dressing up like women!"

_Nope, just like cute little girls in pig tails._

"I DON'T WEAR PIG TAILS!"

_Rajan, Rajan, Rajan! Dick Chaney does his voice!_

"Dick Chaney does my voice? What nonsense is this?"

The vice president walked up, slapped the tiger and kicked him in the shin. "I want my voice back," the old man growled. After taking it, he turned around and shot the tiger. "Ops. Sorry, I was aiming for that squirrel over there."

_Rajan, Rajan, Rajan! He's married to Yugi Moto!_

"I am perfectly happy being single, and why would I marry another man?"

_Technically Yugi's a boy!_

"Actually I'm in college now, so I'm a man!" Yugi said. "Besides, I prefer Tea!"

_Rajan, Rajan, Rajan! He murdered Tea!_

"You son of a BITCH!" Yugi cried. He turned and summoned Dark Magician, and beat the stuffing out of the tiger.

_And now you know Rajan, a pop singing, French Imperial court jester who likes to dress up like a little girl, stole Dick Chaney's voice, wants to marry Yugi Moto, and killed Tea!_

"You have got to be the most annoying person I've ever met!" Rajan cried, being hauled off to jail by Carmelita for charges of murder and trying to romance a boy who hadn't reached college yet.

"I'M IN COLLEGE!"

_Sorry._

_**UP NEXT: CONTESSA!** _


	16. Contessa

_**Ziggy's Corner: chapter 16, the Contessa! I hope everyone is doing okay! I'm going to try to shake things up and try to make a short chapter here. This is also mainly dialogue.**_

_**CONTESSA**_

_Contessa, Contessa, Contessa! She won last years beauty pageant contest, only to be disqualified and lose it to a monkey with rabies. _

"I do not believe in the sexiest contest like this beauty contest, but if I HAD I would have definitely not lost to a monkey with rabies.

_Contessa, Contessa, Contessa! She's really Linsey Lohan!_

"My hair is black, darling, and I'm a spider!"

_A black widow! Yes, my mistake, sorry. Contessa, Contessa, Contessa! She's actually Hillary Duff!_

"I AM NOT A POP PRINCESS!" Contessa roared.

_Contessa, Contessa, Contessa! Boy's think she's creepy!_

"Are you an idiot?"

_Contessa, Contessa, Contessa! She stole every fan's donut box!_

"GET HER!" a hoard of fans screamed.

_And now you know Contessa! A pop princess, who was disqualified from a beauty pageant, lost to a monkey with rabies, and is either Hillary Duff, or Linsey Lohan, who likes to steal donuts!_

_**I said it would be a little different. **_

_**Up Next: Jean-Bison!**_


	17. Jean bison

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 17! Let's have some fun!**_

_**JEAN-BISON**_

_Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison! He lived in ancient Rome!_

"I don't live in Rome, I lived in Canada in the 1800's!"

_What's the difference!_

"You do know that there IS a difference, right?"

A giant light shone above him and he squinted his eyes. "What did you do with the penguins?" DemioHukau, a Sly Cooper fan asked.

"We know you have them!" said AntiGravity 5-1-0.

"What are you doing here?" asked DemioHukau.

"While I disagree with a lot of Ziggy's ideas, I'm not his enemy either!" the other fan said. "Besides, we're here to interrogate Jean Bison.

_Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison! He's killed millions of penguins!_

"I did not!"

"Murderer!" the Penguin howled.

"Why are there so many cameos?" Jean-Bison asked.

"Yeah, this is getting odd," Heiduska said.

_Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison! He's deathly allergic to coffee!_

Heiduska poured coffee down his throat.

"I'm not allergic to coffee, is just makes me pee really bad!" Jean-Bison cried

DemioHukau turned with a bazooka and fired a missle at every toilet. "Good luck using the potty now!"

Retaya Fox appeared out of no where, and strapped Jean-Bison to a chair, making him listen to her song fics again and again.

_Jean-Bison, Jean-Bison, Jean Bison! He's a fan of heavy rock and roll!_

"No I am NOT!" the bison cried.

Heiduska slammed him with a tree, and then married him to Azula from avatar fame.

"Okay this is getting sick!" Azula snarled.

"Be quite and stop whining with your bad breath, bad breath whiner!" The Divine Guardian snarled.

"Bad breath?" Jean-Bison asked.

_You can find out about your wife's stank in her appearances in know your stars, avatar the last air bender! That being said, know you know Jean-Bison!_

"They don't know anything about me!"

_**This chapter devoted to my good buddy, Archangel Octavius! LOL no, just kidding, that snot nosed, ego maniac does not get anything of mine devoted to him. AND I do not intend of giving him any viruses either. I do that, and I'm just as bad as he is. I chose rather to ignore his whining anyway.**_


	18. Arpeggio

_**Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 18. Okay, two more to go now for this update! I realized I forgot to tell you who was up next. It's Arpeggio. You thought the Contessa chapter was short, this one is seriously going to be short!**_

_**ARPEGGIO**_

_Arpeggio, Arpeggio, Arpeggio! He's a wingless nut who couldn't plan a proper gang attack if he really wanted to._

"I say, that is rather unproper young man. Just who do you think you are, with such talk. I have an a big IQ."

_Arpeggio, Arpeggio, Arpeggio! His IQ is as big as he is!_

"That's more like it, I… hey wait a moment!" the bird shrieked.

_Arpeggio, Arpeggio, Arpeggio! He painted a picture of Sly Cooper tickling Carmelita with ham!_

"I despise both Sly and that Interpol woman, why would I paint such a thing? And ham? Ham doesn't tickle!"

"But it makes a good HAMMER!" shark, a sly cooper fan, shouted, and sent him into the back of the room. "YAY I WIN!"

_Sorry, actually I drew that picture, and he uses a paint brush to make her giggle._

"You need mental therapy!" Arpeggio said weakly.

_Arpeggio, Arpeggio, Arpeggio! He's about to get hit with a piano!_

"A pia… AWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKK!"

_And now you know, Arpeggio! A short, really stupid parrot, who couldn't fly, couldn't paint, got hit with ham, and is now squashed under a piano._

_**UP NEXT: DON OCTAVIO**_


	19. Don Octavio

_**Ziggy's Corner: Last update for this story, for this weekend! Chapter 19, and Don Octavio is up! Only seven more chapters to go from here to the end of the series! I kinda wished it was as popular as my avatar know your stars, which is now over seventy reviews, but I guess it can't be helped!**_

_**DON OCTAVIO **_

_Don Octavio, Don Octavio, Don Octavio! He wears pink pajamas!_

"I donna wear the pink pajamas! I'm an opera star, I wear only what's in fashion!"

"Yah, uh, dude, about your bling, it's totally giving me a heavy metal rock in the noggin' ya dig?" Dimitri asked.

_Don Octavio, Don Octavio, Don Octavio! His mother hated his guts so much, she slapped herself with a lawsuit on his birth!_

"My mother loved me!"

_Like a shack of trash!_

"Are you gonna take that back, or are we gonna have to rumble?" Don Octavio asked, getting ready to sing.

_Don Octavio, Don Octavio, Don Octavio! He's so wimpy, he can only threaten to sing someone to death!_

"My songs are things of beauty, and things of greatness!" He opened his mouth and sang, exploding the set.

_Don Octavio, Don Octavio, Don Octavio! His hat is pinned to his head!_

"My hat cana come off!" He removed it in time to see a tiny man sitting on top of his head.

"DON OCTAVIO'S A ROBOT! UNCENSEIVABLE!" Bentley cried.

_Bentley, Bentley, Bentley…_

"You already did him!" Penelope shrieked.

_I was just going to say that he did not know how to spell unconceivable! _

_Don Octavio, Don Octavio, Don Octavio! He's a pansy!_

"This is a repeat of what you… is that an apple!"

_Don Octavio, Don Octavio, Don Octavio! He's about to drown in oil covered apples!_

"HELP ME!"

_And now you know, Don Octavio!_

_**Up next: The mask of dark earth, I think that's its title, if someone could help me with that, I'd appreciate it. Till then gang!**_


	20. Mask of Dark Earth

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay here we go. The Mask of Dark Earth is next, though not sure he's going to be too talkative. Here we go!**_

_**THE MASK OF DARK EARTH**_

_Mask of Dark Earth, Mask of Dark Earth, Mask of Dark Earth! He's Pinnochio's second cousin, from his mother's side!_

The mask floated there in the air, shocked and curious as to why it was put in the series of fan fiction story. And why would it be related to anyone named Pinnochio?

_Mask of Dark Earth, Mask of Dark Earth, Mask of Dark Earth! He's creator was so fucking drunk when he made him, that his two month old son puked because of the hangover. _

The mask blinked yet again, and came over to Murray, putting himself on the hippo. "You think you can make fun of me? You stupid ass lunatic," the mask said through Murray's mouth.

_The color of the mask comes from the kid's puke!_

"Come on, creep, get original!"

_The Mask of Dark Earth, Mask of Dark Earth, Mask of Dark Earth! He's bitter that he never got the job in Jim Carry's movie The Mask!_

"That movie was lame!"

_Because you weren't in it!_

The mask seemed happy about that, "Yes," said the possessed Murray, "The second movie was even lamer!"

_Because Jim Carry was not in it, and you were!_

"That's right because… hey wait a second!"

_It was so lame, people wept and began to riot!_

"Now wait just a damn minute," possessed Murray yelped. He was so angry that he wanted to throw something, unfortunately the only thing he could throw was the Mask of Dark Earth. It landed in the termite pile.

_And now you know, the Mask of Dark Earth. Pinnochio's cousin, who was created by a drunk. Painted with the kids puke and could not get a job with Jim Carey, so he had to suffer the lamer movie and is now being eaten by termites._

The mask would have said something, might have screamed in pain as it was eaten, but it had no host to use, all it thought was …_At least I'm free of that damn idiot._

_**Okay this one is done. Up next the Black Baron. **_


	21. Black Baron

_**Ziggy's Corner: Up next the Black Baron!**_

_**The Black Baron**_

_The Black Baron, the Black Baron, The Black Baron! He likes to tap pictures of Hulio Iglasias to his plan! _

"I say and why should I do that?" the pilot snarled. "I neither love the hip hop, nor do I love other men!"

_The Black Baron, the Black Baron, The Black Baron! He likes to dress completely in pink and huggles soft unicorns!_

"I WHAT?" he screamed. "I say, are you trying to tell me something?"

_Nothing you already know!_

"Come out with it you hooligan!" The black baron screamed.

_We know what you really are!_

"What is that?" the Black Baron grumbled, his eyes narrowing under his dark shades, his teeth grinding as he crossed his arms. "Be careful what you say naïve, I am a world champion in fisticuffs."

_You are a non voting Libertarian who likes to eat salad dressing._

"I beg your pardon?!"

_I said…_

"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID YOU INGORAMOUS PIECE OF TRASH! WHAT KIND OF MORON SAYS THESE KINDS OF THINGS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE, AND THEN PUTS INTO LAME ISSUES SUCH AS MY VOTING RECORD? ARE YOU RUNNING OUT OF INSULTS, DEAR BOY?" The Black Baron growled, pacing back and forth.

_The Black Baron, The Black Baron, The Black Baron! He is running for Congress, but does not like to discuss his seesaw voting record. To make matters worse, he does not agree with funding comedians their monies for better jokes!_

"You could not tell a decent joke of one was stuffed down your blasted pie hole and you choked on it, you foul mouthed heathen!" His eyes narrowed and he ordered his men to charge and take care of the narrator. Into the fray they rushed, only to have the commentator beat them back with some air bending he had learned by watching Aang the Last Airbender.

"Sorry," Aang chuckled.

"We really ought to get a new stage," his friend Sokka agreed.

"Quiet, I'm eating my vegieburger!" Heiduska snapped.

"Do you even like those things?" Kayko15 asked. The other girl shrugged.

"Ziggy does not really know, but he's making me eat them. I guess if I don't I'll just have to slap the back of his head once the actual me reads this."

_The Silver Ghost, The Silver…. Er wait, sorry wrong script. The Whiney Dork, The Whiney Dork, The Whi… Damn it it's still wrong!_

"I'm the Black Baron you ignorant twit!" the pint sized villain cried.

_Er no sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, we're scheduled to have an interview with the Dancing Pancy today._

"There's not even an villain in the Sly Cooper series by that name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The mad pilot screeched, leaping up and down on the floor boards, knocking down the bright gray chairs behind him. "What the hell is the matter with you? Do you take medications or something?"

_As a matter of fact I do… I take three Stridex every day and…_

"THAT'S FACE MEDICATION FOR ZITS YOU POMPOUS BOOB!" The Black Baron hollered, his face turning purple.

_Whoops, I thought that was medication to help me have some fun in the night time, hehehe, if you know what I mean!_

"This is a T rated fic you dimwitted, sour paced, wind breathing dingle bopper!"

_The Black Baron, The Black Baron, The Black Baron, he's a foul mouthed heathen!_

"And you good sir are a potty minded, mentally challenged moron!" the villain hurled at the announcer.

_The Black Baron, The Black Baron, The Black Baron, he's hurling his cookies as we speak!_

"WHHAAAATTTTTT??????!!!!!!!"

_It was said that you hurled the last insult at me._

"It meant I was yelling at you, you piece of dung!"

Four heavily armed men walked up to the stage, dressed in black suits, wearing black glasses. "Who here said dung?"

"He did," Carmelita snapped, pointing at the Black Baron.

"We are with the Federal Agency for Fanfics. You can not say dung in fanfics, you can only say it in documentaries. I'm afraid we're going to have to arrest you."

_And now you … eh ya all understand by now._

_**Okay up next General Tsao!**_


End file.
